We hear in today's Gospel (Mark 4: 35-41) the story of the disciples and Jesus in a boat. Sounds natural, since many of them were fishermen. When a storm comes up, you would think that these fishermen would be able to handle things. But no, they go into a panic. Jesus is sleeping (so how big of a storm could it have really been) so they wake Him up and complain "Do you not care that we are perishing?".
I must admit, this one gave me pause. When I reflected on the event, I wondered several things. Why were the disciples so worried? How could Jesus remain asleep? Was this an unusual event, a storm different than others?
In trying to apply it to my life, I began to realize a few things as well. Perhaps the disciples had begun to doubt themselves, their own proficiency. Perhaps they had started to rely on Jesus to take care of everything in their lives. Perhaps they figured God would take care of them, since they were following Jesus. Wow! Do I do that? Do I think that somehow God owes me? Is it possible that I believe that God "owes" me, since I am one of His followers? Do I really believe that God loves me more, since I have given so much of my life to Him and the Church?
I can see that it is really easy to fall into this trap, thinking that somehow God HAS to take care of those of us who do what we should, or at least are trying. And then I realize that God does take care of me, usually through the people around me. So many times we pray and pray and ask God for things. And when we do receive the answer to prayer that we wanted, we think that somehow we were lucky. God does the work, and luck gets the credit!
I wonder what would have happened if the disciples all worked together during that storm? If each one, using his own strength, had tried to help one another, perhaps the story would have ended differently. Perhaps Jesus could have continued His rest and they would not have needed to waken Him. But then again, was He really asleep, or just waiting to see what they would do? Is God not aware of what is going on in my life? Maybe, when I think that God doesn't care, He is really just waiting to see what I will do.